Finding A Balance

So where have I been the last 6 months? Good question . . . mostly at home, lol.  In September I took an online course in an attempt to gain entrance to the Master’s of Social Work program at Waterloo. The class was the last of 2 classes I needed before applying. Of course I left the two classes I didn’t want to take until the end. It was about Social Research and I just sucked at it.  It was a lot of statistical information (which I have never done well with) and concepts that I just could not get to stick in my head.  Aside from Anthropology in first semester of my first year as an undergraduate – this was the hardest class I have ever taken. One day I got a 50% on an assignment and then 3 days later received a 90% on another one. We worked in groups of three for most of the assignments but the areas I struggled in they seemed to do the same. I was never so happy to be done a class. During the semester I began to look at other options like transferring to Windsor (which they make as hard as they can) or perhaps going with Laurier. Then I was driving home one day and I thought . . . “Why exactly am I doing this?”. The long hard truth was that I had promised myself when the kids were older I would go back to school and get my Masters in Social Work. So when Jeremy started highschool I decided it was time to make it happen. But what I hadn’t done was look closely at my current life, my goals, my desires, my hopes and dreams. The reality was that I had no idea. The Social Worker goal is an old goal – maybe one that I will someday achieve but for now it doesn’t fit into my life plan.

There were three things that happened that helped to shape my decision:

1. My passion for writing and public speaking. I was experiencing more success in having my writing shared and even received payment for some. I had launched this website because of my big brother Chris Muggridge and had family pictures done complete with headshots – because if I was going to do this thing I was going to do it right.

In October I made the keynote closing speech at the joint Ontario Association for Infant and Child Development (OAICD) and Early Childhood Resource Teachers of Ontario Institute of 2017.  I will write more on that in a separate post but I will say it was an amazing experience!

 

2. My new position at work. I had tried a couple of times for different positions and wasn’t chosen. While hard to swallow, I understood the reasons why I wasn’t chosen. When the position for intake came up again I was so excited because of all my positions I have held over the years it was my absolute favourite. But I gave it a second thought when I began to doubt myself and I wondered aloud in my therapy sessions “How many times can I be rejected before I start to let it get to me?”. I didn’t let fear hold me back, I moved forward with submitting my resume and the interview process. I was so relieved to find out I had been successful.

3. My mental health and physical well being. So with all of number 1 and number 2 happening combined with my social work course, being a wife and mother as well as someone living with mental illness it was a little overwhelming. A good overwhelming for all the right reasons but overhwhelming nonetheless. I continued to work 4 days a week and see my therapist and psychiatrist regularly. I took my medication as prescribed. My diabetes was more in control now that I had started insulin at night and I cut out fast food and lost 17 lbs. One day I sat in therapy and it hit me – I was content. Truly content. I don’t know that I had ever felt that way before. My anxiety was at an all time low, my sleep was good, my diet healthier. I wasn’t manic and I wasn’t depressed. I wasn’t feeling like a fake anymore – you know the “fake it til you make it” thing that I have been doing my whole life. For once I was – just me. To tell the truth, It felt weird. It has taken some getting used to, this new normal.

March 16, 2018

A New Normal

So where have I been the last 6 months? Good question . . . mostly at home, lol.  In September I took an online course in an attempt to gain entrance to the Master’s of Social Work program at Waterloo. The class was the last of 2 classes I needed before applying. Of course I left the two classes I didn’t want to take until the end. It was about Social Research and I just sucked at it.  It was a lot of statistical information (which I have never done well with) and concepts that I just could not get to stick in my head.  Aside from Anthropology in first semester of my first year as an undergraduate – this […]
April 4, 2017

Update

So things have been quiet around here lately but it’s not what you probably think. I have been doing great – I am feeling much better. I think being on insulin has helped immensely. I am not feeling so tired and foggy all the time. I am actually getting some housework done and making meals at night doesn’t feel like I am barely able to make my way around the kitchen. I’m still working on eating better and getting more exercise. I went and got my hair done and I love the style. I bought contacts and new makeup. Today I got my eyebrows waxed for the first time since my wedding 22 years ago. lol. In a few weeks we are […]
March 22, 2017

My Husband – I See You

A new article over at Her View From Home
January 31, 2017

Respite

There are 3 things that I feel helped Corbin and our family the most when he was in early years of elementary school. One was Camp Winston ; then there was Occupational Therapy and then respite. According to the Family Respite Services website We are a Windsor-Essex community organization that works with families caring for children under the age of eighteen who have intellectual, physical and mental health disabilities. We facilitate the provision of respite services that contribute to: The sustaining and enriching of a family’s quality of life. Seek the fullest participation of the child in the community. We have always felt it important that respite be viewed more as a way of connecting   Corbin to his community than a break for […]
December 14, 2016

Advocacy is not a 4-letter word

There are times where, as the parent of a child with a disability, you will be told to fight for what your child needs. Us “special needs moms” – we tell each other “fight for him, you know him best” and “the squeaky wheel gets the grease”. People get worked up hearing other parent’s stories. At times I too have believed this way of thinking and engaged in my fair share of fights.  Last week I read a piece that spoke of being a Mama Warrior for your child with special needs and it just seared my heart.  I genuinely felt very saddened by the notion that as a whole, it is thought that parents of kids with a disability […]
December 6, 2016

Extraordinary Needs

A woman I consider my mentor once told me that her biggest regret was not spending more time with her other kids as she was always busy with her daughter with complex medical needs. Later that same week my 5 year old son sat in the back of my van and piped in “Mom, let’s have a meeting”. I asked him why he wanted to have a meeting and he said “So me and you and Dad can be together. I know, I will bring paper and pens and you bring snacks”.  I wept silently the rest of the way to our destination. My 5 year old had figured out one of the only ways to get his parents attention […]